The Trap of Extraordinary (And What Really Matters)

Read time: 4 minutes

A year ago, I made a decision that surprised many people.

I quit my job after 8 years—not to climb higher on the corporate ladder but to pursue a more meaningful path, prioritizing what matters most: my family and personal values.

At the time, it felt like a bold move. But looking back, I realize it wasn’t really about ambition in the traditional sense.

It was about alignment—choosing to live in a way that felt true to me, even if it didn’t fit society’s definition of success.

This decision got me thinking about the trap of extraordinary achievement.

We often hear that success means reaching some ambitious goal—a fancy job title, a six-figure salary, or a house full of stuff. And society conditions us to believe that those who achieve such are “winners,” while those who don’t? Well, they just aren’t trying hard enough.

But here’s the truth: success doesn’t need to be extraordinary.

When we focus only on extraordinary achievements, we trap ourselves in a “when, then” mentality—when I reach [X], then I’ll be happy. But happiness is fleeting if it’s tied only to outcomes.

Most of life happens in ordinary moments. And if we don’t appreciate them, we spend our time chasing the next big thing—waiting for happiness to arrive “someday.”

I’ve learned a lot about this from watching my son.

Every day, he finds wonder in the smallest things—whether it’s tasting an apple or helping my wife cook. He doesn’t think about tomorrow’s goals or how to be more “productive.” He lives fully in the present, appreciating each moment as it comes.

I’m not saying we should all live like toddlers (though there’s probably more truth in that than we realize). But there’s real value in making the ordinary come alive.

So today, I’m going to show you how to avoid this trap and find fulfillment in the ordinary—without sacrificing ambition or personal growth.

Redefining Success and Progress

So, how do we escape the trap of the extraordinary?

It’s about reframing progress. Instead of measuring success by the conventional markers (job titles, income, accolades), we can start measuring it by what matters most to us—our core values.

This doesn’t mean abandoning ambitious goals or striving for financial stability. In fact, financial security can be a tool to help us live more fully in alignment with our values.

The key is making sure wealth, or any other external metric, isn’t the only definition of success.

Take these examples:

• Someone might take an undemanding job, not because they lack ambition but because it allows them to spend more time pursuing hobbies, caring for loved ones, or simply enjoying life.
• Another person might declutter their home, choosing to live with less, because they value the peace and freedom of a simpler environment.
• Or think of the parent who decides to stay home full-time to raise their children. To some, it might look like they’re “settling,” but in reality, they’re aligning their actions with what matters most to them.

These are all forms of ambition, but not in the way we usually think about it. Its ambition is rooted in meaning and values—not societal expectations.

But this idea of redefining success isn’t just personal. Culturally, we’re starting to see this shift as well.

A Larger Cultural Shift

More and more people are questioning the traditional markers of success, and movements like minimalism and slow living challenge the notion that success is about having more or doing more.

They emphasize intentionality—simplifying life so we can focus on what truly matters.

Then there’s the Japanese concept of Ikigai, which refers to finding purpose in the everyday—at the intersection of:

• What you love
• What you’re good at
• What the world needs
• and what you can be paid for

It’s a beautiful reminder that living with purpose brings fulfillment, no matter how big or small the external results.

These cultural movements show us that success doesn’t always have to be extraordinary. Sometimes, it’s about aligning your daily life with your core values and knowing that’s enough.

Bringing It All Together

In my journey with the Clarity Club, I’ve seen this repeatedly—both in my own life and through my conversations with many of you.

People who shift their focus away from traditional markers of success and start prioritizing their core values feel more fulfilled, more present, and more at peace.

It’s not about giving up on ambition or goals. It’s about living with intention and making decisions that serve you now and in the future.

So, what does success look like for you?

Take a moment to reflect. What are your core values? How can you begin to reframe your progress in a way that aligns with them?

Because here’s what I know for sure: When you make the ordinary come alive, the extraordinary has a way of following.

This week’s action step.

In the coming week, each evening, write down one “ordinary” thing that came alive for you during the day. Pause and appreciate the simple joy of each moment for what it is. At the end of the week, reflect on the list and note how you start to reframe success and progress.

See you next Sunday.