Stop Trying to Control Everything (Create Room for the Unexpected)

Read time: 4 minutes

For the last few days, I’ve constantly told myself that the Clarity Lab doesn’t have to be perfect before launching.

Internally, I’m trying to plan for every detail while balancing my natural nerves and excitement about this community. But regardless of how much planning I do, I can’t possibly guess what future members will want.

I have to get something out there and then consistently improve it over time based on the feedback and behavior of our members—I can’t iterate what’s not in motion.

So why am I sharing this so candidly with you?

Well, part of me is trying to avoid feeling awkward, so I default to attempting to control everything. And if you can relate to the urge to over-plan or control every outcome, here’s the simple reminder I’ve been shouting from the mountaintop these past few days:

“Stop trying to control everything.”

We’re taught that success comes from planning every step. We feel like we need to control every outcome—our career, our relationships, even our personal growth. But here’s the catch: life doesn’t always follow the script. When we’re so focused on what’s next, we lose sight of the moments that could completely shift our direction.

The truth is, trying to control everything blocks us from the opportunities we want most.

So today, I’m going to share how letting go of control can create space for the unexpected—and how that’s often where the best things happen.

Let’s dive in.

The Pressure of Perfection

We’ve all been there. The constant urge to have everything figured out, organized, and perfect before we take the next step. We think we can guarantee success if we control every little detail. But here’s the reality: this desire for perfection often leads to stress, burnout, and missed opportunities.

We crave control because it gives us a sense of security. It feels safer to plan every move, whether in our career, relationships, or personal growth. But we often fail to realize that this obsession with control doesn’t leave room for experimentation, mistakes, or, most importantly, the unexpected opportunities that make life exciting.

When we focus solely on the perfect plan, we close ourselves off to how poetic spontaneity can be.

The Power of Letting Go

Here’s the good news: letting go of control can be liberating.

It opens up space for creativity, spontaneity, and growth. When we loosen our grip on life’s details, we invite room for new possibilities that we couldn’t have predicted.

Letting go creates freedom. It reduces the stress of needing everything to go according to plan and allows us to focus on what truly matters. Instead of worrying about the next step, we become more present in the moment.

So, how do we make room for the unexpected? We start by creating space—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

• Creating Headspace: Writing or journaling helps clear mental clutter. By reflecting on what’s working (and what’s not), we give ourselves space to think clearly and breathe.
• Creating Physical Space: A cluttered environment can mirror a cluttered mind. Simplifying our surroundings creates room for fresh ideas and opportunities.
• Fostering Creativity: Engage in activities that spark curiosity, like trying a new hobby, walking, or picking up an interesting book. These moments of non-work activity allow creativity to flow freely.
  
  

Real-World Application

Let’s see how this works in practice. Here are some examples from my own life:

Creating Headspace: Clear your mind to think clearly.

• Action — Write it Out: I was overwhelmed when I started building the Clarity Lab. But instead of pushing through, I spent several days writing out my vision, refining my strategy, and asking tough questions until I gained the clarity to move forward.
  
  

Creating Physical Space: Less clutter makes room for new ideas.

• Action — Keep it Clean: Minimalism is a big part of my life. I’ve learned that I think and work best in a clutter-free environment, so I make sure my workspace stays clear, no matter how much work I have to get done.
  
  

Fostering Creativity: Engage in activities that spark curiosity.

• Action — Non-Work Activities: I’ve recently recommitted to working out regularly. Even when I’m busy, I make time for it. Being active clears my mind and always brings fresh ideas when I return to work.
  
  

The Bottom Line

Letting go of control doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean abandoning your goals or direction. Instead, it means making room for the unexpected and allowing life to surprise you.

The paradox is this: while planning is necessary for some aspects of life and work, the most meaningful experiences come when we stop trying to control the outcome. The best moments in life often show up when we least expect them.

So, what will happen next?

I encourage you to reflect on one area in your life where you’re trying to control too much.

• What would happen if you let go of some of that control?
• How could you create space for new opportunities to appear?

I challenge you to take one small step today—whether it’s clearing physical space, decluttering your thoughts, shipping the first version of your product (or service), or simply allowing yourself to be open to something unexpected.

Wherever you are on your journey and whatever your current focus, remember: Stop trying to control everything.

I’m rooting for your continued growth and success, my friend.

See you next Sunday.