Stop letting the past make present decisions

Read time: 3 minutes

Last night, my family and I were driving home from a party. We had about an hour ahead of us—not too far, but it was late. So anything we could do to make the drive feel lighter, we were open to it.

That’s when my wife started reminiscing.

“You remember when...” she said, and we were off.

We laughed for 20 minutes straight, replaying some of the most hilarious, emotional, and ridiculous moments we’ve shared over the years—the kind of stories that make you forget how tired you are.

But at some point, the conversation shifted.

We started remembering a different kind of moment—one I had nearly forgotten.

The kind of moment I used to replay alone.

She brought up the season of life leading up to the day I quit my job.

The hours I spent driving in silence, trying to talk myself into another day.

The versions of myself I kept trying to be.

The weight I carried… just to keep doing something I knew I had already outgrown.

I even told her, “Sometimes, on my way to work, I’d take a different route. Not because it was faster—but because I just needed something in my day to feel new.”

Looking back, I wasn’t just stuck in a job.

I was stuck in a loop of confusing what once served me with what should stay with me.

And here’s the trap nobody warns you about:

When something used to be right, it’s incredibly easy to convince yourself it still is.

You tell yourself to be grateful. To push through. To stop being dramatic.

But just because something helped you grow doesn’t mean it deserves permanent space in your life.

What I’ve learned is this:

The real cost of holding on isn’t always loud.

It’s not burnout. It’s not a breakdown.

It’s the slow erosion of self-trust.

For me, it sounded like this voice in the back of my mind whispering, “I thought we said we were done.”

Every time I promised myself I’d make a change and didn’t, that voice grew quieter.

Not because it was wrong—but because I stopped believing it mattered.

I started to feel like my word was optional.

And when you stop trusting your own word, everything else turns foggy.

Your decisions. Your direction. Even your energy.

Eventually, I got tired of making half-promises to myself.

So I made a real one.

And when I finally left that chapter of my life behind, the world didn’t magically get easier.

But something inside me did.

I stopped outsourcing my choices to guilt, pressure, or what other people might think.

And I finally accepted something I had been running from for a long time:

I’m allowed to outgrow things.

That simple shift made all the difference.

But this doesn’t just happen with careers

It shows up in our homes—holding onto items we haven’t touched in years, simply because they “might be useful someday.”

Or because they once were.

It shows up in our goals—still chasing an old dream or unfinished project that no longer fits who we are, but feels wrong to abandon.

It shows up in our routines, our digital clutter, our relationships, our self-expectations.

In each case, we keep telling ourselves:

“But it used to work…”

And we forget to ask:

“But is it working now?”

Once you’re honest enough to ask that question, here’s the truth—letting go doesn’t mean you failed.

It means you’re evolving.

It means you’re choosing alignment over obligation.

Clarity over comfort.

Truth over habit.

Growth over guilt.

And that’s worth something.

So let me ask you:

What’s one thing in your life you’ve outgrown… but keep holding onto—just because it once served you?

Write it down. Say it out loud. Let the truth breathe.

You don’t have to let go today.

But you can stop pretending it still belongs.

See you next Sunday, my friend.